Humans of Duke Sanford - Humans of Duke Sanford

About 17 years ago, my cousin came out as gay. I didn’t understand why family members were so emotional and serious about it. That’s when I discovered homophobia. Stirred to frustration because it seemed so illogical that anyone cared who someone else loved, I subsequently advocated for acceptance in a fictional story I created for a writing contest. If you asked me then why I cared about the issue, or told me that one day I’d lead a Pride club and a Pride Month Instagram series, I would have assumed it was as an ally. Turns out, that’s not the case.

In actuality, I took on those tasks as a card-carrying member of the LGBTQ community, just like my cousin. I still have a bit of imposter syndrome, though, partly because I’m pretty new to my realization – I became clear about being bisexual in 2019. I was around 28 years old. That means I missed a lot of opportunities for exploration and community, and that everyone in my life knew me as “straight.” It was strange to have to rewrite what they knew.

Grad school offered a chance to meet new people who would get to know me as my fully realized self from the jump. Moreover, academia provides a uniquely intimate setting which fosters particularly meaningful connections and self-growth. Since in previous academic experiences, part of myself was dormant, I never maximized that opportunity. With a chance for a redo at Duke, I came into the program wanting to be open about my bi identity and intentional about finding an LGBTQ+ community.

I've done that, but not without turbulence. For example, I’ve sometimes wondered – stressed about – what assumptions may have been made by someone when I’ve referenced anything LGBTQ+, and it does feel like 0 to 60 that I decided to lead the first Pride club I’ve ever joined. However, some of my best Duke memories yet involve that club and queer/ally community I've found, so I look forward to diving in deeper with all who join me for the ride.

-Amanda Ostuni, MPP ’23, on the personal significance of being an out student Amanda curated Humans of Duke Sanford's pride month story series.

About 17 years ago, my cousin came out as gay. I didn’t understand why family members were so emotional and serious about it. That’s when I discovered homophobia. Stirred to frustration because it seemed so illogical that anyone cared who someone else loved, I subsequently advocated for acceptance in a fictional story I created for a writing contest. If you asked me then why I cared about the issue, or told me that one day I’d lead a Pride club and a Pride Month Instagram series, I would have assumed it was as an ally. Turns out, that’s not the case.

In actuality, I took on those tasks as a card-carrying member of the LGBTQ community, just like my cousin. I still have a bit of imposter syndrome, though, partly because I’m pretty new to my realization – I became clear about being bisexual in 2019. I was around 28 years old. That means I missed a lot of opportunities for exploration and community, and that everyone in my life knew me as “straight.” It was strange to have to rewrite what they knew.

Grad school offered a chance to meet new people who would get to know me as my fully realized self from the jump. Moreover, academia provides a uniquely intimate setting which fosters particularly meaningful connections and self-growth. Since in previous academic experiences, part of myself was dormant, I never maximized that opportunity. With a chance for a redo at Duke, I came into the program wanting to be open about my bi identity and intentional about finding an LGBTQ+ community.

I’ve done that, but not without turbulence. For example, I’ve sometimes wondered – stressed about – what assumptions may have been made by someone when I’ve referenced anything LGBTQ+, and it does feel like 0 to 60 that I decided to lead the first Pride club I’ve ever joined. However, some of my best Duke memories yet involve that club and queer/ally community I’ve found, so I look forward to diving in deeper with all who join me for the ride.

-Amanda Ostuni, MPP ’23, on the personal significance of being an out student #HumansofDukeSanford #MPP #pride #pridemonth Amanda curated Humans of Duke Sanford’s pride month story series.